Still around…

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Seem to do nothing these days other than apologise for not keeping up my blogs – I suppose part of that is that like possibly many in the blogosphere, I’m not a natural writer.  I started the blog because of having particular viewpoints that I got irritated enough by to want to vent to the world, but once those were all written I sort of lost my mojo somewhat I settled down to do other things instead.  And many of those other things have overtaken my life and time so much more than I expected.

Time continues to race away at a crazy pace as I still struggle to get many things done in my days.  It’s not like I sit about all day doing little.  Despite my disabilities & health I keep ridiculously busy and active within my limitations.   Even those hours (more than I’m happy with) where I’m just sitting I’ll still be doing – usually work on the couple of websites I manage or learning about those things of interest on the computer, or else I’ll be making cards which is quite an active hobby surprisingly.  Lately I’ve taken up a renewed but deeper interest in all things bonsai which is really taking up most of my time currently.   People think bonsai is a sedate interest – not a bit.  You’re endlessly having to work with the trees to keep them healthy and shape & style them etc.  But I’m so enjoying it, especially as I now have a bonsai expert on hand to help me with the initial work which is often the hardest.  And of course I decided to start yet another blog to keep a diary of my progress on that front.  No doubt like this one, it’ll go great for a few years then I’ll probably move on to something else I can get obsessed about again.

So in the meantime, for those of you who keep hoping for something new of interest my apologies but it’s doubtful I’ll get back into this particular blog for much other than more personal updates now, and for those who’re new to it, I hope something of what I’ve already written will provide some measure of interest.  And please do keep checking as you never know when I’ll start up again given how things are in the world these days.  However, given my particular style of writing might put me in prison some day in the future as free speech continues to be eroded, especially if you’re a Christian, I’m not rushing to add to it too soon, but might be unable to keep quiet.

If you’re into bonsai or just curious feel free to check out my new blog on my travels – Itsy-Bitsy Bonsai or if you prefer card making have a squizz at my card site Tikvah Treasures (Name comes from my wonderful cat who I named after Israel’s national anthem)

As ever, please leave a note along your travels – always nice to know who’s finding what of interest if anything.

Thanks.

Walking through dark valleys….

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So how many of you know God’s Will for your life?  Have any of you come to a place of understanding anything about what His Will actually means?  I don’t have an answer to the first question for my life, given I’m disabled, & now unwell too, it’s hard to know what His longterm plans actually are for me.  But I have learnt plenty about the second point – and even more so in recent weeks.

GodsWillMy first real understanding of how God brings His Will to fruition was many years ago when I was about 33 or so.   My late husband & I had relocated a few miles from our home, in order for me to take up what I considered to be a dream job – starting up & managing a large Cat Shelter.  With my Vet Nursing background & love of cats, I relished the opportunity, and even put myself through the torture of having to get a driving licence. I was so ridiculously nervous, I had to use self hypnosis just to get myself out the door & into the car for each lesson & even then sweated buckets the entire hour of the lesson – more when I made mistakes, which was quite frequently!!  Incredibly I took 18 lessons in 2 weeks & passed first time.  We threw ourselves into the job & my boss in England told me I was doing an excellent job.   So, it was an absolute huge shock when I took a phonecall from him a week before my 6 months probationary period was up, & he told me they were “letting me go” because of irreconciable differences between myself & the local Branch (long story that one, but suffice to say it came down to in-house politics, power, & money!), but also because they’d discovered that my hubby was an alcoholic which was a no-no in their books.

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Absence apologies…

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Huge apologies to all of you who follow my blog – while I’d tried earlier in the year to maintain some semblance of continuity, sadly my health has heavily declined over the past few months, culminating with me spending almost all of the last 2-1/2 months in hospital :(.

I have chronic & now apparently heavily severe Sjogren’s Syndrome (an autoimmune condition that technically dessicates you from the inside out), which destroys the mucous producing membranes of the body, so no tears, no saliva, etc.  And it’s the latter that has really caused me severe problems recently whereby because when you’ve no saliva (which is a natural antibacterial/antifungal fluid), your mouth becomes a playpen for all sorts of nasties – for me, it’s been a horrendous couple of bouts of severe oral thrush, plus once we’d got that sorted, oral herpes simplex :(.  Both caused very painful tongue ulcers which left me unable to talk let alone eat or drink.  On top of that, I’ve now got low blood pressure for some reason, which caused me to faint & bang my head heavily 10 days ago, plus I succumbed to pneumonia which left me being readmitted to hospital 1-1/2 days after being discharged!!

So, all in all, my heads not really in any place to think sensibly, & I’m still struggling with poor cognition & memory, making it hard to concentrate for very long.  This post is taking me twice as long to write as it would usually.

However, unless I end up back in yet again, I would still hope to gain some inspiration to continue writing the provocative and thoughtful posts I’ve become known for.

If you’re the praying type, I’d certainly appreciate your prayers for me, as this “blip” in my health of late has been quite hard to cope with.

Blessings.

Not gone yet :)

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I’m sure some of my longtime visitors think I’ve fallen off the edge of the planet or been raptured (I wish!) but no, I’m still here ok.   I just had a rather rough year last year and really haven’t had my head in gear to write anything of any value (& perhaps still not fully).

I developed some minor health problems last March where I lost a stone of weight which I then couldn’t regain for anything.  The problem didn’t impact me overly until November when I then had my 1st ever interaction with the infamous Norovirus (more fondly known as the “winter vomiting bug”).   Because of my compromised poor health state (I was only 98 pounds in weight – roughly 7 st) I landed in hospital for a week getting treatment & fluids, but inevitably dropped my weight further down to 6-1/2 st.   I recovered fairly well and was just starting to really pick up when 3 weeks later, I succumbed yet again to a 2nd bout of it (apparently highly unusual to do so in such a short space of time).   Another week in hospital with another weight drop, but again I managed to recover quite well and am thankfully now once again improving steadily.

But the Lord graciously always brings good out of bad, and while I was lying in abject misery on a hard A&E trolley for 12 hours the first time around, I knew He’d do so in this situation, & sure enough, I got the one thing I’d been begging for, for the previous 5 months without success – to see the GI docs to try and get some investigations into why I couldn’t gain the weight.  So that process has now literally just begun on Friday (they had to wait until I’d fully recovered from the virus).

So as I struggle to regain the weight and cope with the difficulties presented currently, my writings here may be very sporadic or perhaps even nonexistent for a while.   But trust me, as soon as I have energy and opinions enough to share, I’ll be quick getting them up for you, so trust you can hold on & be patient a while longer 🙂