Just been reading Ps. 139 once more – has to be THE most awesome psalm around in my view, especially in these days of abortion, where life is destroyed before it’s even begun. I’ve never forgotten hearing Michael W Smith relate this psalm at one of his large concerts in Canada (on DVD) about a year or so ago – he did so purely from memory without any aids whatsoever, and said in the ‘Making of’ section, that he had a mentor/Pastor who had done this and taught him the value of it so he had made a habit of trying it. Just blew me away to listen to it knowing that, as it’s a reasonably long psalm, and not quite so easy to just throw out there as Ps 23!! But even before then I’d had it marked in my bible as a beautiful one – verses that remind us that God is our creator, that he knows what we’re going to say before we say it, that he fashioned our innermost being in the darkest recesses of our mother’s womb, and that we can NEVER hide from Him, no matter what – nothing can hide us from Him, and so it’s utterly pointless trying to pretend we can do so.

He’s been teaching me a lot about that lately – and it’s not been easy going through his refining fire, but I can’t complain – I’ve constantly prayed for Him to break me, make me and mould me into the person He wants me to be, and I think this may be a bit of the breaking bit going on just now. Tough, but good, and very necessary, so I’m trying hard to embrace it.

Learning about fear too – something I never thought I had in me in respect of His Will for me. After all, he’s shown me so many times over the past few years, that His Will is not only perfect, but easy to walk into – not something I should ever fear, yet all of a sudden He’s shaking my boat of contentment, and I’m scared!! But again, that’s half the battle – recognise what’s happening, and act appropriately – for me, its facing the reality of my relationship with Him and how it should be – if I want to truly please Him, then I have to fully submit and allow Him full reign in my life, not just partial. I think many of us are quite good at submitting when it suits us, or in areas we are happy for Him to work in, but we all have one area at least I think, where we know in our hearts, it’s still our baby and we’ve not given it to Him, in case He moves in it, or changes it – we fear change, so prefer to control some things ourselves. Sadly that’s not how He desires things to be, and I’m just learning that lesson all over again!!

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